so its been pretty long since my last post, and again nothing new has been happening.
I still haven't gone for any driving classes after successfully getting my learners at last.
On the 17th of April is a school acquaintance's birthday and the Saturday night before it i had realized that being nice has got limits and i just don't seem to follow them .. i have been a shoulder, waiting, just because i figured that one day she will fall so low and i would just stick my hand out and help her up, i have never called her a friend or "bestie" in ages and not even to her face - i was just polite. And on the night of her birthday party thing (the saturday) she insulted someone who is my friend, and with this irritation i told the friend of mine and with that she phoned me and announced she no longer wants me in her life, so i thanked her for letting me go. as a result another person who i really thought was my friend, my "bestie" turned out to have been my friend but i was her acquaintance, even though she would call me her "bestie" and that was what a real 2faced person does, but she instead called me a 2faced person, strange how that turned out hmmm?
But Sune has always been there no matter how far apart - she is my bestie and i love her lots, she says the same and i do believe her, my heart does, my brain is just scared that she will turn around and zap me and walk off... but at the same time it doesn't...
see yesterday i woke up with the worst news i have heard in ages - that her mom has passed away. it felt so unreal, like i was still having a horrid dream that i couldn't wake up from even though i was partially awake..
i just wanted to be with her the whole day, i still do today... i want her to not feel alone, and she probably does, she probably has this abyss that keeps deepening in her chest, i want to be there to stop i from aching as much...
i kept singing a song today... and i just realized a second ago why - that i should light up the hollow she's feeling right now..
"this little light of mine.. I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine!"
The past weekend Sune had gone to visit her mom, i had chatted to her and she informed me that she wasn't doing too good, i had gotton a cute image that Wednesday morning i was going to put on her facebook wall and wish her a lovely day.. And then it hit me, I had been so busy i had forgotten and missed my opportunity with 9 hours.. time is short. time is valuable.. if you have something to say - do it now because tomorrow might just be too late... She wrote me a letter once, where she had thanked me for being such a good person to Sune, that she was thankful.. and she added something extra because during that time i only had Sune and Sune only had me, we were fighting with Monique & Tanya.. she wrote:
"People do to you only what you let them" ... "See yourself in Gods eyes"
She now see's us all with him by her side..
I'm also a bit under the weather, sore throat and runny nose... but i still love the winter!
I am happy... I am content
oh, how i miss the people i call friends, wish i could see you guys and hug you guys again.....
